What a pile of crap. IUE 4-3 S Ambrogio

Cerreti, Tuesday 11th March, 2008. Scorers: Irial (2), Dave H, Leo

Some of you may have noticed that Naples is struggling at the moment under piles and piles of rubbish. Well, if you looked to the horizon from Piazza del Plebescito last night you could see one pile of stinking crap towering higher than all the rest. It was the EUI's performance, as we repeatedly tried to shoot ourselves in the foot, only failing to do that because we were so crap that we couldn't even manage to do that. Now, there is an old saying where I am from: if it ain't broke don't get a sledgehammer and smash it into smithereens.

Fortunately we were about 2927391723092 million times better than Sant'Ambrogio, and twenty minutes either side of half time of excellent play on our part had secured us 4 goals, meaning the three absolutely pathetic goals we let in when there was no danger (two shots from over 30 yards and a tap in after an unmarked man tapped in a dropped cross) didn't stop us from securing our fourth consecutive win. Unlike last week, when we played against probably the best team we have ever played in this league (they got kicked out of the FIGC championship a couple of years ago for fighting), and fought like lions for the last 15 minutes as they laid siege to our goal, yesterday our midfield decided to have a twenty minute rest at the end of the game and let Sant'Ambrogio's crap old men try their best to break us down. Booting the ball as hard as I could onto the next pitch four minutes into injury time to waste time and regroup just about summed it up really. It shows how far we have come as a team though when we are bitterly disappointed with game in which we are clearly superior, score four great goals, and win. It also shows how far we have not come that we can almost throw away a game that we should have won, literally, with no exaggeration, about 8-0.

Okay, in synthesis, the game went like this. A patient start, and solid performance in the first half, where we were at times nervous but growing in confidence. We conceded two stupid stupid stupid goals, but got a good first one through Irial who opened his body up well to finish after a croos from the left. Our second goal was probably the easiest goal you could probably ever score, as I passed it about 70 yards from the edge of our box into Davie Horan's path, miles onside, who flicked it over the keeper and walked it into an open goal. Okay... things are going well. Dom got in after a great move down the right and could have scored, if only he'd shot! Mate started off a great move down the left which ended with a good goal from Leo. We were starting to look good. Dom and Mate were having great games at full back, and McCourt was starting to work well as a pivot in the middle. Luis was pulling the strings well, and Horan and Irial complimented each other well with the former dropping deep to pick up the ball as the latter showed some great improvisational play as prima punta.

Okay, second half. Good first twenty minutes. We got another goal through Irial from a header from a corner. Classic Glynn. We just had to hold onto the ball. Did we? Of course not. Our midfielders got pulled out of position all over the place, too high and too wide. They got their third with a shot from thirty yards that should have been 1. blocked and 2. saved. No problem. We just had to keep doing what we do best: play. Ha. Irial hit the post with a great shot on the turn, and Francesco had a couple of good moments down the right, but overall we looked terrible for those last few minutes, with them being 5 on 4 against us a couple of times. Ridiculous. They hit the top of the bar twice (although one was a cross), an we were ill disciplined (again!) as we gave a away countless freekicks. Their number 10 was unbelievable, having already crocked France in the first half, he set out to maim our entire team. Booking for Irial then, obviously. I had a word with the ref after a tried to elbow Luis in the head. 'Lo so,' says the ref. 'Ma la partita e' finita'. Oh, that's alright then. Magari fosse finita, as we had to defend a couple of corners in the last minute. Some old school headers and clearances over the fence did the trick. The relief at the end was unbelievable. What a pile of crap.

Team: (1-3-4-1-1) Charles - Luke - Mate, Simon, Dom - Leo (Nate), Luis, Dave M, France - Dave H - Irial.