The Perils of V.D. IUE 1-1 Serpiolle

Tuesday, 13th February, 2008. Cerreti. Scorer: Own Goal!

Er... fights, eh? Nothing like a good fight to bring a team together. To be honest, I wish we'd kicked the shit out of those bastards last week, who seem to have slightly evolved beyond their neanderthal status to be able to use the internet and even find our website to leave oh-so-scary threats. In any case, last night we had a fight, involving about 18 people, which is always fun, as well as our legion of fans banging on their fence - not quite sure what their goal was, but it made the scene much tougher. Like WWF, only real. Strange one that, Leo getting sent off for being PUNCHED IN THE HEAD. I still can't believe the ref's antics - asking me to give him the number of a player to send off for our team (you know, a number of my choice...) or he would SUSPEND THE MATCH. While a would have loved to have sold Leo out for being a pussy and falling over so dramatically, I obviously told the ref where to get off. So he sends Leo off. The one man not involved in the ruckus because he was lying on the ground nursing his head. What can I say? We have appealed, I got the other team to tell the ref after the game he had made a mistake, they were full of apologies for the whole thing too. Nothing will happen, I fear. Leo will be suspended, Great. Thanks ref.

So... to the perils of VD... In the words of a famous hip hop group, There comes a time in every mans life when he's gotta handle up on his own/Can't depend on friends to help you in a sqeeze, please they got problems of their own. (Anyone?). One of those things is VD... even worse is an unwanted nickname, especially if it is VD. What Dom has going for him is that he will be able to explain to women put off by this name that it doesn't actually mean he's got the clap, but instead it only stands for Violent Dom. 'Oh,' they'll say. 'Okay,' as they slowly slide away never to be seen again. Grande Leo, for such a great name. Leo in Finnegan: 'Dom, you are violent Dom. No, VD.' (VD is short for venerial disease, by the way, an STI in modern parlance - a sexually transmitted infection.) This all comes from the fact that Dom threw a slightly wonky punch in the melé, and probably should have been sent off instead of Leo. So keep safe, watch out for that VD. A few of us got stuck in, which was good to see. Not Mark Jones though, which was a surprise, but, as Irial said, that was probably because he was fighting with someone else somewhere else on the pitch. Probably for an unrelated incident.

Ah the match, only very quickly, because I know you all have busy lives, what with checking your emails, facebooks, and myspaces all day. Having only two left backs at our disposal in terms of out and out defenders, we started with a back four with a sweeper, playing a kind of 1-3-4-1-1. We still look reluctant to be calm on the ball and spread the play, in particular in midfield, which should be the strongest area in this team. Distribution from the back has often been a problem in this side, hampering our ability to get going with the ball, but this wasn't the case yesterday, as the defenders passed it around with much assurance than the midfield, who looked laboured, slow, unfit and tense. We still worked some good stuff though, and our best moves came when we switched the ball across the back and attacked down the wings. Irial played a sublime ball into debutant Francesco, who, er, might have done better. We looked pretty solid but rarely sparkled. The centre of midfield looked sparce and we struggled to win second balls in there. I know it's not good form to call out people on this website, but LUIS and DAVID HORAN, you need to get fitter. We need more dynamism in that area. They scored a classic counter attack goal, as their rampaging players overtook ours and they got in behind and scored a tap in. Come on lads, they were five-on-three in our box, it's ridiculous. This came after we were awarded a free kick in their box after Irial was kicked in the face. Kicked in the fucking face! How is this not a penalty? Kicked in the face, for god's sake. The rest of the half we stuttered along, and we came in 1-0 down, but clearly a much better side than them.

Leo came on, soon to depart, as we now know. In the meantime we took the game to them quite well, with their quick breaks easily dealt with with our new sweeper system, which nullified the danger of balls over the top, which we often used to struggle with. Jeremy compared me to Tron, whatever the fuck that is. This allowed our full backs to push in more too. We put on the pressure, and were amazingly denied a stonewall penalty TWICE in the space of about half a second, as two of our players were absolutely CLATTERED in the box. Corner, obviously. Ha, own goal - great header into the top corner from the cross. Okay, here we go, let's get a second. Then the fight goes off, the ref gets scared like last week, of the violent team, so sends off one of ours. My uncle used to have a dog that would love to join in with violence, but always on the side of the person dishing it out. These refs are a bit like that. We had a scare a couple of times at the end when we failed to intercept balls in the channels which we clearly ours. Too much hesitation. Playing one up front it was tough to hold the ball up there, but Johnny came on for VD and Irial moved into midfield, and the young Mr Ash caused them a lot of problems.

A kid came on for them up front, as was visibly shaken by the fight. A gave him a friendly handshake and told him welcome to hell. Mark then scared him even more when he claimed, not unreasonably, that a foul by Mate had actually been a foul. Obviously it was a foul, although I argued that it was the greatest injustice since Ashley Cole was told he'd only be paid 60 grand a week by Arsenal. 'Era fallo,' says the kid timidly. 'Ti faccio vedere io cos'è un fallo,' said Mark. Poor kid. Serpiolle is also the team who broke one of their own legs earlier this year. They kept trying to repeat the trick, and must have crashed into each other about five times during this game. Very strange. 1-1 final score. Should have one, but a better performance than last week. We need our midfielders doing more - more passes and crosses to the strikers!

Beware the dangers of VD.

Team: David - Luke - Mark, Simon, Mate - Manolo, Dave H, Luis, Dom (Johnny) - Francesco (Leo), Irial.

Sorry again to the subs who did not get on last night - the game went kind of crazy, and severely restricted the possibilities of making changes. THANK YOU FROM THE TEAM FOR BEING THERE AND SUPPORTING US. You will play soon!

Thanks also to all our fans last night! There were loads of you! Fantastic.